Wholesome family entertainment

Last Week in Weird

I do not like them, Sam-I-Am

Ah, drag queen story time, that wonderful, family-friendly American institution. Where else can you take your children to have them taught wholesome things than to a dude who’s had himself surgically altered to look as much like the Devil as possible, and who wears a shimmering dress, fishnet stockings, studded leather gloves, and plastic Yu-Gi-Oh hair? Speaking as a father with a young son: that’s a role model, that is!

After all, if we don’t let the cross-dressers indoctrinate our precious youth, they might end up reading horrible far-right hate fear Qanon stuff like that racist Dr. Seuss.

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Not plane, nor bird, nor even frog

Last Week in Weird

Batten down the hatches — there’s a whole new year of weird a’comin’!

Look! Up in the sky!

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s certainly not the U.S. government’s multi-billion-dollar, super-duper secret "Zuma" satellite. Because that’s at the bottom of the Indian Ocean.

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She thinks she's still in Kansas

Last Week in Weird

Cognitive Dissonance

A great many people, when first beginning to explore philosophy, will hit upon the idea that reality is not what it appears to be; in ye olden days, it was common to describe it as a dream or a vision, but, in a post-Matrix world, the zeitgeist has shifted such that people tend to describe this creaky old philosophical trope in terms of giant computer simulations instead. Regardless of the precise form, this is a very common idea, yet not one quite so common as to disabuse people of the notion that they are unique great geniuses when they first hit upon it. Said list of people now apparently includes a great many high-level political cronies, such as those at Bank of America:

Top bank analysts claim there’s a 50% chance our world is a computer simulation and we’re all plugged into a Matrix-style virtual reality.

And they also reckon if it’s true — then there’s no way we’ll ever find out about it.

The Bank of America’s Merrill Lynch made the astonishing claim in a research note citing comments by top scientists, astrophysicists and philosophers.

If you think this is breaking news, just wait until next week, when they unveil their startling conclusion that there’s a 70% chance that you’re being stalked by a giant, ferocious, man-eating tiger — but you’ll never be able to find it, because the tiger is invisible.

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