Imagine the ourtrage if they'd put these filters on the red lights!

Last Week in Weird

Clearly outplayed

The saucy Brits writing for the Daily Mail think I can’t tell what they’re up to. Their plan, quite clearly, is that if they just publish the most comprehensively weird article of all time, Last Week in Weird will overload and break, and I’ll never be able to make fun of them again. Well, I’m pleased to report that their plan only almost worked; I did, against all odds, manage to survive the onslaught from the Mail’s masterpiece: "Pedestrians are baffled by gay traffic lights as little green man is still replaced by same-sex symbols three months after London Pride." I promise I’m not making any of this up.

Transport For London replaced the traditional ‘go’ sign in 50 traffic lights in June around the Trafalgar Square area as a nod to those taking part in London Pride, and they are still in place almost three months on.

However, because the gender symbols happen to look like arrows, some pedestrians are confused which direction they should be walking in and even whether only men or women are allowed to cross at one point, according to The Express.

I’ll be honest with you: I’m not even sure who to make fun of first here. I guess I should start with Transport For London; one would think that the purpose of traffic signals is to control the flow of traffic, no? While I’ll allow that there’s plenty of room to argue about whether or not that’s a viable goal, it’s clearly the reason. Yet somehow Transport For London — a government agency, of course — has decided that selling people the social justice war is so important that the whole entire traffic control system can be subjugated to it. If you’re the kind of person who believes in government traffic control, is this a good use of your money?

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She Who Shall Not Be Named

Last Week in Weird

Slow readers

Former first lady and secretary of state Hillary R. Clinton (Last Week in Weird has learned that the "R" is short for "Satan") has been all in a kerfuffle lately over the trivial matter of a few thousand felonies she allegedly quite obviously committed during her time as head murderer of funny-colored people. The Republican Party has sued under the Freedom of Information Act for the release of all the e-mails sent to and received by three of Clinton’s top staffers — Cheryl Mills, Patrick Kennedy, and Jacob Sullivan — alleging that those e-mails are important in determining just how extensive Mrs. Clinton’s espionage was. The state department is obligated to provide these documents, and has acknowledged this obligation, promising that it will release the requested e-mails… in seventy-five years.

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