Putting his money where his mouth is
How the man finds the time to do all these things is beyond me, but, prior to his rather eventful evening in Berkeley, right-wing troublemaker and official Donald Trump #1 Fan Milo Yiannopoulos (whose name I can finally spell under my own power) headed to the southern border with a crew of shirtless musclemen to get started building that wall we’ve heard so much about.
No, that’s true.
Letter of the law
Breach of contract, n.: failing to perform any term of a contract, written or oral, without a legitimate legal excuse.
The contract is the cornerstone of civilization, and I would argue that the civil suit for breach of contract is the thing that separates free men from barbarians; in a free society, failure to live up to the terms of a contract is brought before an independent tribunal that judges the merits of the case and determines what punishment, if any, is appropriate. In a barbarous society, failure to live up to the terms of a contract is punished directly by the aggrieved party, who takes the law into his own hands.
Admit it. You’re expecting me to say that the modern United States is barbaric because of the government court monopoly. That’s where you think this is going. Well, your Christmas present is that I saved a spooky Holiday reverse from Halloween and I’m bringing it out now.
Slow readers
Former first lady and secretary of state Hillary R. Clinton (Last Week in Weird has learned that the "R" is short for "Satan") has been all in a kerfuffle lately over the trivial matter of a few thousand felonies she allegedly quite obviously committed during her time as head murderer of funny-colored people. The Republican Party has sued under the Freedom of Information Act for the release of all the e-mails sent to and received by three of Clinton’s top staffers — Cheryl Mills, Patrick Kennedy, and Jacob Sullivan — alleging that those e-mails are important in determining just how extensive Mrs. Clinton’s espionage was. The state department is obligated to provide these documents, and has acknowledged this obligation, promising that it will release the requested e-mails… in seventy-five years.
