The naked truth
(Alternative headlines: "the naked city," "the empress’ new clothes," "Bare Stearns")
You gotta hand it to the New York Daily News; loony-left though it may be, the commie rag nonetheless manages to run some quintessentially New York stories, such as this charming missive about a naked statue of Hillary Clinton put up in Manhattan, and the spasms of violence that ensued almost immediately. The Daily News also has a talent for giving stories humongously unappetizing headlines; this one opens with "SEE IT: Naked statue of Hillary Clinton," which: no thank you.
An artist erected an obscene statue of Hillary Clinton in downtown Manhattan Tuesday morning causing a heated fight between defenders of the profane piece of protest art and women trying to tear it down.
The grotesque caricature of the Democratic candidate appeared outside the Bowling Green station during morning rush hour on Tuesday and shows Clinton with hoofed feet and a Wall Street banker resting his head on her bare breasts.
Man, those Trump supporters and their violent behavior, you know? I fully expect to hear that the attacker — a government employee called Nancy who works for the Smithsonian Institution’s National Museum of the American Indian (a federal agency) — is a big Trump backer. That sounds like the right profile, doesn’t it? I expect her backup — an unidentified woman in a hijab — is also a Trumpista.
Further research: when a naked statue of Donald Trump was put up in Union Square a few months ago, absolutely nobody was physically assaulted, and nobody attempted to destroy the statue until the police arrived to cart it away. We know the only explanation for the disparity is racism, but the connection remains unclear at this time.
Donald Trump: slave trader
Just when you think the mainstream media’s utterly madcap stream of Trump bile can’t get any more detached from reality, something like this comes along. Time magazine, that stalwart edifice of the American establishment, has published an article by a man badly misnamed as "Tavis Smiley" alleging that, if Donald Trump becomes president, black people will be enslaved again. No, seriously, he says that. In as many words.
But at the conclusion of my talk, I was introduced to another question that still haunts me. I had handled most of the closing Q&A questions. Then one student hit me with this:
"Mr. Smiley, do you believe that given the crisis state of our democracy, we black folk could ever find ourselves enslaved again?" …
My answer? Yes.
Tavis Smiley is an employee of the federal propaganda industry, spreading lies and disinformation on both PBS and NPR. He is on record in this very article calling for "equality," and then defining it thusly: "equality means that everyone gets the same in America, whether they need it or not," which is one of the most intensely perverse political goals your humble narrator has ever encountered. As of press time, I’ve not managed to get a conclusive answer as to whether or not Mr. Smiley is one of those mentally ill people Democratic Party operative Scott Foval was hiring to cause trouble, but it can’t be ruled out. One thing I have been able to confirm, however, is that he writes like a moron:
While I’m not an angry black man, I do have a righteous indignation that burns inside me about the myriad of [sic] injustices that result in a daily contestation [sic] of people’s humanity [sic]. The question is whether that feeling of being left out or left behind will be channeled into love and justice or hatred and revenge? [sic] I told the students at Lehigh that evening that I’m going with unarmed truth [sic], unconditional love and being creatively maladjusted [sic] to injustice.
Indignation, n.: anger aroused by something unjust, unworthy, or mean
He’s not angry, he’s just burning with anger. God, why can’t you people tell the difference? It’s because you humans are all racist.
So, could the Constitution be thwarted and black folk end up enslaved again? Legal scholars, of course, will find the question ludicrous and laughable.
See also: the entire non-moron population of the world.
We have always been at war with East Asia
The United States has been at war more-or-less non-stop since World War II. In the bygone days of the late twentieth century, though, the wars tended to be fought one at a time; since the turn of the century, however, the United States has meticulously failed to end any of its mounting cavalcade of foreign adventures. Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Syria, Yemen, Somalia, Pakistan — all still being perpetually renewed. This may be awful for regular Americans (to say nothing of the effect on the people trying to live lives in countries being obliterated by tanks, missiles, and drones), but it sure is great for the worthless leeches in the military-industrial complex! So great that here’s Air Force Chief of Staff David Goldfein bragging about how he expects the wars to continue for at least fifteen more years. Aces!
While fewer airmen are deploying, the time they spend away is increasing — driven in part by missions related to the air war against the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria, or ISIS, a resurgent Russia and China’s increased military activity in the Pacific.
Oh, swell: they’re officially gearing up for war with Russia and China. The good news is that war with nuclear-armed Russia and nuclear-armed China may very well not last the fifteen to twenty years Chief Goldfein predicts! The bad news is why it may not last that long.
Continued deployment demands put pressure on the Air Force’s goal of a 1:2 deploy-to-dwell time, or six months deployed and one year at home. In 2015, no career fields increased from the 1:2 mark, with all but six keeping rates of 1:3 or lower, according to Air Force Times.
I… what? I have no idea what that even says. Is that Alan Greenspan-esque syntax destruction being deployed to distract us from the rather-too-candid admission that we’re going to start a twenty-year war with Russia and China? Because it didn’t work.
Well, even if the United States does launch a pointless, suicidal, world-ending war with the entire rest of creation, at least it can save money by not paying the soldiers.
Nearly 10,000 soldiers, many of whom served multiple combat tours, have been ordered to repay large enlistment bonuses — and slapped with interest charges, wage garnishments and tax liens if they refuse — after audits revealed widespread overpayments by the California Guard at the height of the wars last decade.
It’s too bad we absolutely 100% need the military to keep us safe, huh.
Islamophobic hate crimes: still 100% phony
I’m sure we were all shocked by the headline coming out of the Huffington Post last week: "Islamophobia just drove this boy and his family out of America." Well, no; I’m actually pretty sure nobody’s paid any attention to the Huffington Post since the last time a Republican was in the White House, and that’s just as well, since the entire story turns out to be a hoax. Here’s what was initially reported:
Little Abdul Aziz, a first-grader and the youngest child of Usmani and Binish Bhagwanee, was traumatized. He told his parents a classmate had tried to force him to eat food that wasn’t halal. When Abdul Aziz refused, five of his classmates ganged up on him, making fun of his name. They punched him in the face, kicked him in the stomach, and twisted his arm while calling him "Muslim" again and again, Usmani said…
"I’m in a very interesting dilemma," he said, noting that his work against ISIS and terrorists around the world makes him feel unsafe when he’s in Islamabad. But the Islamophobia in the U.S. has also made him concerned for his and his family’s well-being, he said.
He added, "I guess I can’t live anywhere in world."
I guess the world is just a dangerous place for Münchausen by Proxy sufferers, because the horrible anti-Muslim hate terror fear incident that drove this "Fulbright Scholar and… award-winning computer scientist who uses big data to save lives from terror attacks" out of the United States appears to have been entirely fabricated for media consumption, as the Huffington Post was forced to concede mere hours later.
The Cary Police Dept. and the Wake County School System say they have not found any evidence to corroborate Zeeshan-ul-hassan Usmani’s claim that his son was assaulted aboard a school bus on Oct. 7…
Principal Tim Chadwick wrote that information from an investigation "does not support an altercation." He added, "No students who were interviewed witnessed an altercation. The bus driver did not witness an altercation. The child did not report to the bus driver any injury."
So, in other words: they made the whole thing up, and the Huffington Post was happy to run with the story because it gave them a chance to write a long, irrelevant harangue blaming the whole thing on Donald Trump. No, seriously, they did that:
"[An anonymous neighbor] came to our apartment twice at midnight and at 2:00 AM, passing racial slurs, teaching us how to ‘behave’ and "’live in this country,’ mentioning Donald Trump and his desire to vote for him to kick us out of this country," Usmani wrote in an email to the Cary Police Department in July…
In September, the Fort Pierce, Florida mosque where Usmani says he used to attend Eid services when he was a student, was set on fire. The alleged arsonist, Joseph Screiber, had made anti-Muslim and pro-Trump Facebook posts in the months leading up to the attack…
Over the course of that year, the Republican nominee for president, Donald Trump, proposed a ban on Muslims entering the U.S., called for the creation of a national database of Muslims, said that mosques should be surveilled and Muslims should be profiled, told an apocryphal story about shooting Muslims with bullets dipped in pig blood, suggested that the Muslim mother of a fallen American soldier wasn’t allowed to speak at the Democratic National Convention because of her faith and said: "Islam hates us…"
While his family stays in Islamabad, Usmani, because of his work, will have to split his time between Pakistan and the U.S., he said. He also said his family would consider moving back to the U.S. if Donald Trump loses the election next month. They would "absolutely" feel safer in the U.S. if Trump loses, Usmani said.
Not that the Huffington Post is trying to sell an agenda here or anything. Nope, this is pure, unbiased journalism at its finest! Perhaps also worth noting is that, despite the wan "we made the whole thing up" mea culpa that’s been added to the article, the Huffington Post does not appear to have issued a retraction, which is generally standard practice when you get caught publishing a fraudulent story. It would probably be too much to expect that they’d apologize to the man they spent four paragraphs accusing of instigating this nonexistent crime, of course.
In related news, in Hillsborough, North Carolina, the Republican Party headquarters was firebombed and decorated with such charming graffiti as "Nazi Republicans leave town or else," which the Huffington Post apparently doesn’t consider to be either hateful or criminal behavior. In Bangor, Maine, attendees at a Trump rally found their cars spray-painted with graffiti. The Delaware County, Delaware Republican Party headquarters was also attacked last week, as vandals smashed the front windows with bricks. At least that’ll boost the economy, right?